6 July

when i'm busy with work for past two weeks, i thought i will be fine. i thought when i hanging out wif friends for past weekends, i should be happy .

somehow, da history appears again. i know i should be better, or getting better, sigh.. i recall of history.. some moments of history around.

i know it's part of my life which makes me who i am today, i can't delete it or erase as if nothing ever happened. but i try not to have all the negative thinkings or thoughts on it, and seeing it as part of memories which happened in past years.

back to some good things..

Saturday i went to Italiannies with uni friends in conjunction of the sissy friend came back from s'pore.. haha da sissy plan 2 treat us but seems like da bill was a bit too much.. so i choose 2 settle my part..

June 15

i hate having MC ... due to.... hormone changes (i think) .. i'm being emotional the night before... all of sudden.. i think of history.. n i cried non stop.... i did... it's very not-good.. i hate being this situation... i just want answers and explanations..

sometimes u know that ur life has been back to track, sometimes you just want to move forward, sometimes you hope you won't ever turn back, sometimes you just want to be yourself.

June 7

i seems to be can't recall of history's look anymore. emmm it's true, i just remembered he in specs... then a T with khakis/jeans.. the face part... errr... fair... kinda thin... the exact feature seems 2 be blur dy..



times really flies... it's been a year and half after the incidents... times really can wash up some details... i kinda like it... at least i won't keep have them in minds.



well i like life now being single.. at least i don have 2 think of how 2 cheer up some1 else. plus its hard 2 understand a new person, or being with him, learning all over again the 'skills/techtics' of being together. oh... pls dont.. i just want to enjoy life.. if possible.. let the new man come into my life years later... same time im kinda worry i might be 'lou ku poh''' hhhahaha nvm la... take it easy.



now its June dy, alre half year of 09, many things been happened around me for past 5 months. January- i were been 'informed' that history cheated on me

February- i been 2 new dept of my current company

March- life of sing k, movies, trips ..

April- same as March

May- my b'day month..

女人空窗期的快乐指南

空窗期有快乐，空窗期中也有苦恼。无论是因为什么原因单身，既然已经身处空窗期，我们也不能让空窗期成为人生的空白期。

空窗期生活必备──

独处的能力：空窗期的女人要学会独处。再好的朋友也不能每时每刻陪伴著你。要学会一个人吃饭、一个人看电影、一个人旅行……要学会给自己买花，给自己买钻戒，让自己高兴。不一定非要恋人才能令你的生活充实，一个人也能快乐。千万不要为了寂寞就隨便找个人恋爱。

健康的体魄：单身生活最怕生病，那种没人照顾的寂寞感，可以把你的乐观心情统统摧毁。每个星期花几个钟头上健身房、游泳、打球；间中到一些女人会所享受享受香熏、SPA、按摩……对自己身体的投资，是永远不会亏本的。身心健康的你，才能在空窗期里保持快乐。

知心的好友：空窗期女人一定要多储备一些知心好友。他们能陪你逛街吃饭、陪你唱歌看戏；他们能帮你度过单身时期最落寞的时刻；在你最困难的时候第一时间赶到，来温暖你。

可以寄托的爱好：跳肚皮舞、玩杀人游戏……选择一种爱好，可以让你永远保持活力。拥有一种爱好，不但改变你的生活方式，还能帮你认识志同道合的朋友。或者，下一份美丽的爱情就这样诞生呢？

爱惜自己的心情：不要因为单身就蓬头垢脸！隨时隨地把自己打扮得漂漂亮亮的，你的美丽不是为了给某个人看，你的美丽是为了自己的好心情。

adapted from :

http://www.sinchew-i.com/liveoutloud/node/4029?tid=66

当你爱了不爱你的人时

当他不爱你时，
无论过去他是否爱过后来却忘了，又或者是否是从未爱过。当你无法成为他心里的那个人时，他的心便不会记得你。虽然他知道你深爱他，但他寧可选择装作是不知道。

当他不爱你时，
请不要在你不开心，或者是遇到麻烦而彷徨的时候去打搅他。他那儿绝对不是你此刻应该的去处。也许他会在接到你的电话的时候，淡淡地安慰你几句，却也仅此而已。也许你会再想要一点什么，于是说：“我们见面吧。”而他肯定心有烦躁了。当他不爱你的时候，你的爱，你的人，就会显得廉价许多。你佔了下风，这是人的本性。他会说：“好，不过我现在有点事情。晚点的时候你再给我电话吧。或者我给你电话也可以。”而你这时千万不要当真，他只是找了个不是很高明的理由来搪塞你。请，不要真的去等，不要骗自己。

当他不爱你时，
请不要与他讲你的琐事，也许此刻，你不过是希望让彼此更熟悉一些。只是，他却无暇更是没有兴趣去瞭解你。他也很快会忘记的，就如他忘记你的生日，你的地址，你的电话一样。没有爱，于是你注定挤不进他的生命。即使，你要的哪怕只是一个很小很小的角落。

当他不爱你时，
请不要在他的面前流眼泪，不要在生病的时候告诉他。他无法给予你照顾和关心。至多是同情一下，而，请骄傲的你，不要放弃本来属于你的骄傲。虽然太多的人，在爱的面前丟失了太多。连站起来的勇气都没有。

当他不爱你的时候，
你的爱便是他的负担。请不要去计算自己的付出，不要希望有什么回报。爱著不爱自己的人，本身便是没有回报的。不要计较对与错。这样会快乐些。要记住，你与他之间的爱，是单方面的，你用心，他无心。所以，也不要怪他。因为也许他也想做好一些。对你不要那样的冷漠。知识，爱一个人，对一个人好。本来就是一种本能。对不起，他没有这样的本能。

当他不爱你的时候，
请不要失去自己的自信。因为爱一个人，並非他的优秀，而只是一种感觉。他让你有这样的感觉，于是你爱他。同样，他不爱你，也並非你不优秀。优秀，不是爱的理由。看看还有那么多爱自己的人，淡淡地微笑一下，也是异样甜美的。

当他不爱你的时候，
也一定要祝福他。有了爱，便不该有恨。爱是美好的。恨却丑陋。何必让生命中最美好的东西化作丑恶呢?也不要觉得不公平。关于离去。他失去的是一个爱他的人，而你失去了一个不爱你的人，却得到了一个重新生活，重新去爱的机会。

请不要去想到“永远”。爱没有永远。你此刻深爱，却注定遥远的某一天也不再爱他。他只是比你早一步到达了这一天。当他不爱你的时候，请轻轻拥抱一下回忆里的温暖，轻柔地凝视凋谢的温柔。

当他不再爱你的时候，
亲爱的，请你深深呼吸，一生的路上，铺满了爱的花蕾，总有那么一朵属于你，不是安慰你。而是，这是生生世世早已经注定的。

so, we should love ourselves... coz our family and frens love us though they didn't tell us

adapted from
http://www.sinchew-i.com/liveoutloud/node/3875?tid=66

guy?gal?

i always have this question btw man and woman. recently this 1 keep appears in my mind... okay for a relation , no matter bf/gf, some mayb ONS.. when comes to the issue of prevention of 'accident' as well as health concern, the responsibility of buying the cd should be by Man or Woman??


a friend of mine act did get a cd wif him 24/7, his opinion is : i can't control myself, and i don want to ruin my gf's by not prevent it from happened... i act did agree wif him, which he did think on behalf of his partner and take the initiative of taking cd wif him.. i feel impress and touch as a female, coz i see he respect a gal. Salute~~

then another 1 been asked by the partner, to actually get da cd so that they can prevent 'accident'... oh my buddha.... i know guy n gal equal.. but it seems like this guy did make things equal.. as if he need 2 keep his 'face'.. what abt gal?? or mayb i think she act okay wif that since she love him, and its for her 'sake' as well.... love is blind ..... i think so

so my question is : nowadays, how many man out there now would act still buying cd, or now already change 2 the woman being the role? emmm..... interesting one....

or act nowadays, shouldnt be an issue of who is the one buying, instead safety issue come 1st in mind.... whoever buy it, its not 2 be debate. maybe im being over react then. but i can't stan if a guy tell me, ".... u go buy cd lar... then much safer..." Fish~~~~ u r respobsible as wel, u cant buy it??? so u need da 'face'?? me???

nvm no point debate.. since its the willingness btw couple... isn't it?

as long as we love each other, there's nth 2 be debate/argue of who should be doing it. coz we cherish each other and appreciate what we had 2gether....

emo

that day, BY asked me 2 4get about past and start my new life. i think coz my dialogs seems give the impressions of still thinking of past.

i admit, history is part of my life. it bcums part of my memories , good one, just that it ended in not-so-good way. fish.,..... i actually like my life now. coz i don like being commit or attach or even need 2 report 2 people whom i wont know if he might cheat me, or maybe try 2 cover all shits in front of me. i wont let myself being in this kinda situations anymore... i hate being cheated.. i hate being no explanation of da reason of breaking up... i hate that i had to miss history... i hate that i actually have the intention to contact history in search of answers... i hate that i have so much questions... i hate that i might only have the courage to do so maybe when i am drunk... i hate that i had a good memories in things i don really like to remember...


luckily that i fnd my ways to cut all these, at least i find my peace and calm when in yoga practise, luckily i have my frens around me... luckilyi have a tough personalty... luckily i am strong when i am so depress... luckily i din have passive thinking when some people might end their life.... luckily i love myself much more than i thought.. luckily i can live without you coz i din rely on you.... i feel blessed... i did